Note: This article is based on a lightly edited transcript of a video conversation. The language has been kept conversational to preserve the speaker’s original tone and flow.
The purpose of this article isn’t to explore specific sales coaching systems or approaches. Instead, we’ll focus on the core coaching skills and effective coaching techniques that every sales manager needs.
Whether you’re here for coaching for sales managers or to get insight for advanced training for sales managers, today’s insights will help you elevate your impact.
These principles are at the heart of our sales training courses at the sales academy, and mastering them is key to becoming not just a competent coach but an exceptional one in any sales environment.
1. Listening Skills
Effective coaching for sales managers starts with mastering listening and communication skills, with listening being the first essential skill.
In sales, we talk about listening a lot. But as a sales manager, we have to adapt, both in how we listen to our sales team and to individuals. This isn’t just about active listening as we know it in sales.
We need to reframe what listening actually means for us as coaches. Remember: 93% of all communication is non-verbal. Only 7% is the spoken word, about 55% is physiology—your body language—and roughly 38% is tone of voice.
As a coach, you must pay close attention to body language, tone, and how someone articulates a challenge or responds during a coaching conversation.
As salespeople, we ask our teams to practice active listening:
- Paying attention
- Withholding judgment
- Reflecting before responding
- Asking clarification questions based on the client’s information
- Summarising what they’ve heard
- Socialising that information with their team
This type of active listening works in a sales environment. But as a coach, we need to take it a step further—towards empathic listening.
Empathic listening means listening solely to understand. It’s not about judging or jumping in with a solution. This is difficult because our natural tendency is to respond, guide, or fix the problem immediately.
When we interrupt or dismiss what a salesperson is saying, they can feel deflated and unheard. Instead, give them the time and space to share their thoughts without cutting in.
Think back to a time when you were a salesperson receiving coaching. Did your manager give you the time to express yourself? Or did they keep jumping in? How did that make you feel?
When the roles are reversed, yes you may have solutions. But the key is to sit back and listen. At the right time, you’ll have the opportunity to ask powerful questions.
One tip: during a coaching conversation, ask yourself, “Why am I talking?” If the salesperson is sharing, encourage them to keep going and resist the urge to take over.
It’s easier said than done, especially in the heat of the moment when you want a solution quickly. But your experience and perspective aren’t the point here—the focus is on helping the salesperson think, process, and learn.
Give them space. Listen intently. Accept the silences, because those pauses can reveal a lot about their mindset and the situation at hand.
Listening is one of the most powerful coaching skills you can develop.
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2. Questioning Skills
Effective sales coaching starts with questioning your skills.
In sales, we talk about questioning a lot but questioning skills as a coach are very different from those of a salesperson. If you want to be an effective coach, your questions must enable you to explore issues in a much deeper way.
They should help you identify the root cause of the challenge and focus your understanding on it.
Secondly, your coaching questions need to uncover the salesperson’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions toward a topic.
Simply asking superficial questions that get superficial answers isn’t enough. You have to dig beneath the surface to understand the true cause of the issue and identify where any misalignment lies. The only way to connect with the salesperson is through the quality of your questions.
Of course, at the right time, you can share your own thoughts, opinions, and ideas—but before that, you need to use as much of the opportunity as possible to get them to speak.
Ask them the questions. In sales, we often talk about share of voice, where the client should be talking 70–80% of the time, and we, as salespeople, only 20–30%. The same rule applies here.
Your role as a coach is to direct the conversation and ask questions so the salesperson shares their knowledge and perspective with you.
The end goal is to help the salesperson arrive at a well-considered decision. The best ideas are often the ones we come up with ourselves, and your role as a coach isn’t to hand them all the solutions.
Yes, on occasion, you may have to guide them toward an answer, but in general, you want your team to think for themselves. The only way to do that is by asking the right questions that lead them toward their own solution—whatever that might be.
Even if you can already see the answer, giving it to them isn’t always helpful. You want to provoke their own thinking with effective coaching skills, so they begin to ask themselves:
- What do I need to do?
- How do I need to do it?
- What should I change to achieve my desired results?
If you keep giving them the answer, they’ll keep coming back expecting you to fix their problems, which isn’t what you want.
Throughout the coaching process, your questions will change just as they do in a sales conversation.
At the start, before diving into the topic, break the ice with simple, open questions:
- How are you doing?
- What’s on your mind today?
- Where should we start?
- What would be the most useful thing for us to focus on in this session?
Remember, your role as the coach is to guide the conversation, and the quality of your questions is what makes that possible.
The key to asking great coaching questions is to keep them simple. Don’t overcomplicate. Once you ask the question, stop talking. Give the salesperson time to think and respond.
Some people will jump straight in, while others will need more time so give them space.
Avoid leading questions, those designed to steer the person toward a specific answer or topic. Your role is to remain objective, curious, and open-minded. Don’t judge, and don’t move to problem-solving until you fully understand the situation.
Just like in a sales diagnostic conversation, you can keep the dialogue open by asking:
- Is there anything else you want to add?
- Is there anything else on your mind?
This gives the salesperson space to share as much as they want.
Also, choose your environment carefully. If the conversation requires sensitivity, hold it in a private office so they feel safe. If it’s more general, like discussing a deal, an open-office setting may be fine.
And don’t make it feel like an interrogation. No one likes that. Keep it conversational. Coaching isn’t just a back-and-forth Q&A session.
The goal is to go deep, uncover, and truly understand. Once you get to the heart of the challenge, you’ll be able to guide and support the salesperson in the best possible way.
3. Interpersonal Skills
The third critical skill you need as a coach is your interpersonal skills. The question to consider as a sales manager is: Why should that salesperson trust you?
Why should they share sensitive information with you? Why should they tell you what’s really holding them back?
You might say, “Because I’m their manager, I’m asking the question, and I want to help them succeed and hit their target.” That’s great, but you’re still their manager. So, what’s your intent?
Just like when you’re with a client, your intent matters. You must have the right intent with your team as well. Every team member needs to believe you have their best interests at heart.
Every person on your team has the potential to be a top performer. Your role as a manager and coach is to figure out how to bring out the best in each individual. You can’t take a one-size-fits-all approach.
The key is to build trust and not just superficial trust, but deep trust. That only happens when they believe you value them, will fight for them, help them, and support them. If they don’t feel that, they won’t open up. They’ll share some details but hold back others.
The foundation of great coaching conversations is a strong, positive relationship. Remember, as a manager, part of your results comes through your team. You must empower them, but they also need to know you trust them, and that the trust is mutual.
We’ve talked about the trust equation in previous workshops, and it applies here too:
- Credibility: Do your team members see you as a credible manager? Do you lead by example and practice what you coach?
- Reliability: Are you there when they need you? Do you respond when they ask for help or advice?
- Intimacy: Are they comfortable sharing information with you?
- Self-orientation: How much of your coaching conversation is about you, versus letting them share their thoughts and feelings?
Trust is a huge part of sales management. If you want your team to trust you, give them a reason.
One question that should be asked of every sales manager is: Do you care?
- Do you care about each person on your team and their results?
- Do you care about them as individuals?
- How do you show it?
Saying “I care” isn’t enough; you have to demonstrate it. Would you fight for them? Actions speak louder than words when it comes to showing your team you have their best interests at heart.
The more you get to know your team, the more they’ll share. But you’re not just their friend; you’re still their boss. The balance is in showing you care while maintaining your role.
Trust takes time to build. The key is to understand what motivates each person.
For example, a candidate once shared in their interview that their goals were to earn more money, buy a house, and take at least two holidays a year. On the surface, it might not seem like much. But knowing those goals gave me insight into how to motivate them, coach them, and connect their daily actions to their bigger picture.
Another part of building trust is demonstrating competence.
If you’ve just been promoted to sales manager, your team might still see you as a peer and could even resent or test you.
Avoid using authority in a heavy-handed way. Instead, rebuild the relationship and show why you’ve earned the role.
No one steps into a management position and knows everything. Be candid and say, “I’m learning, but here’s my approach and expectations.”
Earn respect and trust through reliability. Show what you can do to help them, and build rapport early.
When a team member is promoted to manager, Friday after-work outings with the team can initially feel awkward. Team members may hold back what they want to say in front of their new boss.
Relationships will shift, and that’s okay. Give your team space to have their own conversations without you present.
Above all, be authentic. Your emotional intelligence in coaching should match your intellectual intelligence (IQ). Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t rely on “I’m the boss” as a leadership style.
Think about managers you’ve had in the past who didn’t connect with you. How did their approach make you feel?
My first manager out of university was highly autocratic—telling me exactly what to do and how to do it, without room for creativity. It didn’t build my confidence or allow me to learn.
Be mindful of the environment you’re creating. Authenticity and open communication are key. Always keep your team’s best interests at heart, and remember—trust is earned, not assumed.
4. Giving and Receiving Feedback
The fourth and final underlying skill you need to be a great, effective coach is your ability to provide feedback.
Now, regardless of what you might be thinking, salespeople love getting feedback. Why?
Because if they know something is or isn’t working, they can either continue doing more of it or change their behaviour to improve the process, system, or habit that might be holding them back.
Feedback is most effective when it’s delivered straightforwardly. In my experience, most salespeople want feedback.
They want it to reassure them that they are performing adequately and moving in the right direction.
And while you might feel that sometimes you don’t need to give feedback, think about it from the salesperson’s point of view.
You were one of those salespeople not too long ago, so think about what they need to stay motivated and ensure they keep getting that positive reinforcement and clear direction.
Feedback shouldn’t be something you give once a week. It has to be continuous. And feedback delivered in the moment is the most powerful.
In my opinion, feedback is a powerful way to maintain focus and motivation. When you have an open relationship with your team and a continuous exchange of insights, it adds huge value to both performance and trust.
Nothing comes as a surprise; it’s an ongoing loop of feedback, ideas, and opportunities for improvement.
When a manager holds back on giving feedback, they’re essentially kicking the can down the road. They might be avoiding a difficult conversation because they’re unsure how the feedback will be received. That’s a problem.
By avoiding it, you’re not helping yourself, and you’re certainly not helping your team. Feedback is a critical part of sales management and coaching.
Even if you don’t enjoy it, you have to get good at it. It’s a key part of your role and essential for improving business results.
There are five elements to giving effective feedback:
1. Feedback must be behaviour-specific
You need to tell your team exactly what you liked or disliked. The more specific the example, the easier it is to coach. Keep it objective. It can’t just be your opinion without a reason. For example, when coaching a manager on feedback delivery, one simple but powerful change is to replace the word ‘but’ with ‘and’.
“You’re doing this really well, but you’re not doing this well.” Psychologically, everything before is forgotten. Instead, try:
“You’re doing this really well, and I’m confident that if you apply the same principles here, you’ll get even better results.”
2. Feedback should be timely
Don’t store up feedback for weekly or monthly meetings. If you can give it in the moment, do it. If you hear a salesperson on a call, speak to them right after. They’re far more likely to remember and connect the feedback to the situation.
3. Feedback should be balanced
Highlight positives as well as areas for improvement. Make it a two-way conversation. If they push back, don’t get defensive; instead, you can say: “Help me understand why you feel that way.” Balance builds trust and makes feedback constructive.
4. Give the salesperson ownership of the feedback
Don’t rush the process. After delivering feedback, give them time to reflect, even if that means 30 seconds of silence. Resist the urge to fill the space with more talking. Exceptional coaches slow down and let the person process, understand, and commit to change.
5. Close the loop
After giving feedback, check back in later. Set follow-up conversations if needed. If they require skills development, ensure they get it. Feedback is a continuous process, connect the dots and keep it situation-specific.
Feedback is not a one-time exercise, it’s an ongoing cycle. And remember, it’s a two-way process. Ask your team for feedback on how you’re handling coaching conversations. Is there something they need from you that you’re not providing?
Key Takeaways
We’ve covered four critical coaching skills: listening, questioning, building trust/interpersonal skills, and feedback. What brings them all together is your ability to be emotionally intelligent as a sales manager.
Regardless of your coaching approach or system, these are the fundamental skills you must consistently practise to be an effective leader.
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